Saturday, April 19, 2008

Intuitive perception.........

"For God Himself works in our souls, in the deepest depths, taking increasing control as we are progressively willing to be prepared for His wonder."

I have been misguided by my intuitive perception or insight to the essential meaning of faith. You see, two very important people in my life are struggling with terminal health issues and this tragedy has taken me to a very dark arena. I love these two individuals so very much and they both have played an important role in my life, more than I could ever express in a blog.... They have also been in my life for such a long time I often find it hard to remember a time when they were not in my thoughts nor in my heart. With that said I have found a place to hide from the cruel facts of life, a place where I felt harbored from pain, a place where I thought I could escape..... and that place is called depression. I realize such a coping mechanism is NOT acceptable nor a way to get thru difficult times and overburdened thoughts in one's life. I have not done much about this but swim in my sea of doubt and I felt as though I was drowning.

This morning (here in CA it is 6:30 am) I happen to turn on my t.v. and something struck me as if I were hit by a "lightning" bolt. I walked away from the kitchen and gave my attention to the t.v. announcer as Pope Benedict was entering St. Patrick's Cathedral.... and as I watched the crowds, delirious with joy to simply be in the presence of God's most highly revered Shepherd I fell to my knees. Yes, I am not embellishing this for the sake of writing. I TRULY fell to my knees and started to pray. This Holy man brought me to my knees, where I should have been more often during this course of discernment and angst. I never left God but I never truly handed over my fears, doubts or concerns to him. This morning, April 19th, 2008, at 6:30am I rested my troubles in our Lord and passed him the sword. I cannot fight the fear and solicitude any longer BUT with HIS help I shall embrace it with all I have, and, with HIM by my side I will succeed. I will do this for not only myself, but for the loved ones who stand with me, my family and friends. I will do this for HIM.

It very often amazes me how one moment in one's life can be a critical turning point. I have noticed my moments have always been with HIM by my side. I am going to continue watching this most reverent servant of God, Pope Benedict and take pleasure in the Mass he shall deliver. May you all be blessed by his presence, may our country and other countries be blessed by his presence and may we all find our paths in life, difficult as they may be, blessed by his presence.
Embrace HIM, Marylou;)

And because there must be laughter in our lives I wish to share this quote by Pope Benedict himself when he became our new Pope, and he said.....“We were looking for a 'good shepherd,' and instead we got a German shepherd.”
Pope Benedict XVI quote
Gotta just love a Holy man who can make the world SMILE;)


ellen said...

I want to say that it is wonderful having you back. When I write those words it occurs to me that "having you back" means much more than you writing on your blog. Having you back carries with it the joy and relief that I feel when I know that you are getting yourself back for you...and for your loved ones.
I wish you strength, peace and the ability to take joy in the small things. I fervently hope that your faith sustains you through such hard and painful times. May you feel God's hands holding you and sustaining you each and every day.
Now, go outside, raise your arms to the heavens, twirl around and sing!
Love you, e.

IsabellaCloset said...

Marylou, I just wanted to stop by and say hello. I've been thinking about you. After reading your post my heart truly goes out to you..I feel your pain.
I understand your sadness and darkness. I too struggle with my faith and depression. Wish I was there to hold your hand and tell you it will be ok.
Wish I had words to make it all better for you. Know we ALL love you very much and hate to know you are so upset.
I'm glad our blessed Pope brought you to your knees and may have given you some peace.
You and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers. Please hang in there sweetie.
"God please watch over Marylou"
Hugs & much love ~Mary~

carole said...

Very softly I say you are Wonderful Marylou!!!
I did not see our Pope on television but I listened on the radio and he is awesome. I am glad he gave your strength!!! Mary and I were asking one another if we had heard from you and now we know you are better!!!
Live & Hug Life!!!
Love & Hugs to you my Friend

didi said...